Dreams From My Youth

When I was in my younger twenties, my life was full of passion.  I was extremely into fitness and toned my body to the point I had guys in the gym, asking me for tips.  I had recently found a church I felt I fit into and was energized by my new relationship with God.  I followed my passion of fitness and became a personal trainer.  I trained members at the YMCA, taught fitness classes and loved helping family and friends meet their fitness goals.  I loved my life, even though I was struggling with paying off debts and figuring out how I was going to move out of my parents house.  I figured out a way to go to college, I began working full time at a health center and slowly my passions gave away to fatigue.  Between work and classes, I had no time for a social life, to work out in the gym or to follow other passions.  Maybe there was time, but I was too tired to make the attempt.  I was working full time, trying to juggle it all and burned myself out.  I graduated from the University of Washington and life didn’t go exactly as planned.  I continued working at the same job, making the same amount of money and in the same position as before.  I felt extremely discouraged.  But, I continued on, working hard, hoping for it all to pay off.

It did pay off eventually.  I got a raise.  I got my own office.  I was able to work from home a day a week and get off early on Fridays.  I decorated my desk with plants and decor that brought me peace and happiness while I worked.  I was able to enjoy it for a short time, just before I found out the business was going to be sold.  I went through weeks of stress and uncertainty.  I had worked at my job for over fifteen years- just a young girl when I started.  What would I do now?  Who am I now?  What kind of other passions would I follow?

I started thinking back, to the time when I had passions in my life.  When I did things because I really wanted to.  It didn’t matter if I was getting paid, I did things because they brought me joy.  Back when life was care free.  I looked back at the dreams from my youth.

I have really been looking at this whole being in debt/ rat race society America has been in and I don’t like it.  I am wanting to take a different path than the norm.  I have no desire to keep up with the Jones’s or to work forty plus hours a week- for someone else.  I want more from life than that.  I want more for myself.  So, as I look back at what used to make me happy, I see the things that pull still at my heart strings.  I still want to be fit and take care of my health.  I still love to write.  I still want to travel as much as possible.  When I was younger, I had no desire to work long hours in an office, and I don’t still.  There are passions inside of me still, I just have to dig them up.  It has been awhile!  I am determined to live a life that makes me the most happy and brings out the best in me.  I refuse to continue to feel burned out from a lifestyle that doesn’t bring me the most happiness.

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2 thoughts on “Dreams From My Youth”

  1. I came across this saying “that we humans virtually ruin our health in order to work for long hours to earn money & when we grow old we spend all that money to take care of our health problems” So it’s great that you have overcome stress & the fact that you are taking the past in your stride as you now live life to the fullest for your sake , constructively creating your own happiness. I wish you eternal bliss & happiness as you look at your life from a different dimension. Like you I too love to write (mostly poetry though), so according to your convenience please do read some of my writings would love to know what you think about them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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