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Knowing Verses Doing

Most of know what we need to do.  We have had the experiences, desires, outcomes that bring us to a sense of what we feel is right for us.  We come up with a plan, create goals, set a budget… only to find ourselves running on a hamster wheel.  The question is, if we know what we need to do, then why aren’t we doing it?  Knowing what we need to do, isn’t going to help us reach our goals, only actions can do that.  I know for myself, my mood can sway me to do things that counterproductive.  Fatigue, hunger or plain boredom can make me forget what I set out to do, just hours prior.  Instant gratification replaces the work it takes to actually achieve, what I think I want to do.  That is the other question, if I really wanted to do something, then wouldn’t I just do it?  Maybe deep down I don’t really want to do it.  But, who doesn’t want to be healthy or debt free?  I feel most of us do, it is just the work to achieve it, isn’t as fun.  Those that actually meet their goals are those that put in the work.  Those people make sacrifices now, to have what they really want later.

Sometimes thinking about something too much, can be just as exhausting as actually doing it.  Action brings a type of momentum that pushes us to keep going.  Little milestones achieved can be motivating!  I feel at this point in my life, I know what I need to do, at least with a few areas in my life and it is time to take action!  If I want to travel more, pick a place, set a budget, figure out what I need to set aside each paycheck and make it happen.  If I want to stick to my budget, I need to look at it each pay period and adjust my budget to what is needed for the next couple of weeks.  I think being realistic with your self and your goals is what makes actions doable.  We can think anything we want, but if we really want something, action can only make it happen.

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Today Was a Good Day

Today was a good day.  I had the best sleep I have had in months.  After feeling like a zombie the day before, I decided I was on a mission to do whatever it takes to get a full nights rest.  I turned off my electronics a few hours before bedtime, took a hot bath, read in bed for an hour and whenever feelings of anxiety or overthinking came up, I told myself softly, “stop.”  Instead of focusing on on trying to sleep, I focused on relaxing and that seemed to work.  It is amazing how a good night’s sleep, can make you feel like a whole new person.  I woke up  twenty minutes before my alarm went off and instead of grabbing my phone and checking social media, I cuddled with my dog laying next to me.  I took a hot shower and played music from the 80s, dancing and singing in the bathroom.  I made coffee, took my supplements and put on perfume.  Wishing everyday could start like today, I am going to do my best to continue last night’s routine.

Feeling good, just opens my mind to other thoughts during the day, possibilities, ideas and dreams.  Rather than just wanting to go home and lay on the couch after work, I am excited to go to the gym.  Self care isn’t selfish, but allows you to be your best self, for you and others.  Fatigue is a cruel monster that will rob your life of joy and being in the present moment.  Goodbye sleepsnatchers, I am done with you.

Stuck

Does anyone just feel stuck in life.  Things aren’t necessarily bad, really they are going quite well, but something just feels not right.  I feel like there has been something tugging inside of me for years, trying to figure out what it is I want to do with my life, but I cannot figure it out.  When things get hard, I have a urge to want to run away or quit.  I get burned out quickly from things I felt, “all in” with just days ago.  What gives?  Am I chasing the wrong dreams?  Have I just not yet found my passion?  Life seems so hopeless without passion.  It makes me feel tired, lazy and full of anxiety.  I want to work hard, but don’t know what can keep my attention.

I wish I knew what I wanted to be “when I grew up”.  I feel now I am here and still searching.

Self In Progress

Sometimes I forget, we are all just human.  We make mistakes.  We have emotions.  We have different viewpoints based on our own experiences.  But, we also have much more control over our own lives, than we think.  At any time in our existence we can make the choice to start over.  Each day, there is an opportunity, not only to be thankful for having another day, but using that day, to do whatever it is that we choose.  Although, we cannot control what others do,  or the weather, ect, we can choose how we react to each situation. We can decide to be happy, even if we don’t like where we are at now.  The next step, is also up for us to decide.  Life doesn’t have to be perfect in order to be happy, for I am a self in progress, as you.  Unpleasantness can bring forth action to change, creating new opportunities for different types of problems- it’s called growth!  If we are not growing, then we are declining.

Today I am choosing action.  Knowing what I do now, will effect my next move.  Each step can bring me closer or further to my goals.  That is some powerful stuff!

The Power of Self Control

I have this vision of living a positive life.  I have goals I want to achieve, though vague, I believe working towards them, will bring me some clarity.  I know that I need to take certain actions to get from where I am now, to where I want to be.  I know the things that will make me happy… I just don’t do them.  I have fallen victim to laziness, which has resulted in a lack of motivation.  These visions of success aren’t as vivid as they used to be, as with the lack of action, brings forth distraction.  Instant gratification has replaced the desire and effort to create anything substantial.  Hangovers have replaced early morning hikes.  Thoughts of doubt have moved into where dreams used to live.

Then a spark of inspiration occurred, in all places Instagram.  A friend posted a book she was reading, “The Magic of Thinking Big” with a bunch of hashtags #alwaysgrowing #queen #bosslady.  When was the last time I really tried to improve my life?  I have become so comfortable, with a lifestyle, that brings little fear and not too much work. Although, my goal has been to create a lifestyle that is simple, that doesn’t mean, to stop dreaming.  It doesn’t mean to stop trying to be the best version of myself.  It doesn’t mean to let myself go.  So, I downloaded the book on Audible and began my morning listening to the magic of thinking big.  Yes, this is what I want.  I want to have confidence.  I want to dream big.  I want the power of self control.  I haven’t read any kind of self help book in awhile, nor have I tried to sharpen any of my skills.  Maybe it is time for a little self improvement, not just financially or physically, but with the mind and soul.

We all know what is right for us.  The little voice inside, telling us it is time for change.  I think it is time I start listening to myself, have the confidence to give myself the best life I can imagine and love with a full heart.

Be Balanced

I have been on the struggle bus, trying to find my way, to a balanced life.  There is this nasty cycle I have created for myself, that brings me to my highs and lows.  When I am feeling good, I do things that don’t always support my goals and when I am feeling bad, I REALLY do not do things that support my goals.  I find when I am off balance, it is hard to get in the routine of doing things that actually will bring me closer to things I really want.

I recently Googled, “living a balanced life” and this popped up:

Here’s how to balance it all out:
  1. Assess your life as it is now. …
  2. Make a conscious decision to become balanced. …
  3. And make that decision on a minute-to-minute schedule. …
  4. Set goals in every area of your life. …
  5. Be willing to take the risk. …
  6. Make time to reassess yourself on a daily basis.

It may all seem so simple, and it really is, if you actually DO what it takes, to have a balanced life.  When looking at my life now, I feel like there are changes I want to make, I know what I need to do and now I just need to do them.  I am here now, making a conscious decision that I want to become balanced, so that I can reach my goals.  Thinking of it minute to minute is actually way more realistic and it allows me to have control over my decisions and the outcomes they will produce.  I have set goals, over and over again and now I want to achieve them!  Being willing to take a risk has always been my downfall.  I strive for comfort and stability.  But, if I want things to change, I am going to have to get over that!   I feel like writing allows me to reassess myself on a daily basis and one of the main reasons why I love to write.  It helps me think clearer and I like to reference back to it.

So, here I am… ready to tackle this balance life idea and do my best.  In order to become the best I can be, it is going to take some discipline and some delayed gratification, two things I have struggled with.  But, I think I am ready.  Whenever someone is ready to make a life change, that is the perfect time.

The Outlook

I called my mom last week, like I normally do, right before the weekend and I could tell in the tone of her voice, that something was wrong.  I asked her right away, what was going on?  She told me that my aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  She said that my aunt had stopped smoking a month ago, but she always struggled with alcohol and smoking either tobacco or marijuana.  She continued on that she always picked the wrong men and never found someone who loved her, the way my dad loved my mom.  She finished saying this was going to be really hard for her and we will all just have to bear with her.  Then she changed the subject and asked how I was doing.

At first I was a little irritated that we were talking about the faults of my aunt and that my mom would be the only one to struggle through this.  But, then I remembered that we all process information and pain differently.  I let my mom talk and that is what she needed to do.  I reminded her that we were all family and would be going through this together.  When I called my aunt, there was a different tone in her voice.  She sounded hopeful, at peace and ready to take on whatever was about to happen next.  She was thankful for her doctors who were already taking really good care of her.  She joked about the vampires coming in to poke her again.  The outlook she has, is that of a fighter. Although she may have not made the best life choices, she has always been a fighter;  a person who strives to make the best of life.  She said there is no point in being negative or sad at this point and she is hoping for a miracle.  I agreed, life is full of miracles and even if that isn’t the end result, having a positive attitude is where I would want to be when I lived my last days.

It is amazing the strength that we can take on in times of uncertainty.  When I asked my aunt if there was anything I could do for her, she said, this right here, hearing your voice. Be strong for the ones you love.  Be strong for those who cannot.  And if you can’t be strong, that is okay too.  We are all doing the best we can on the journeys we are on.