Struggling through childhood, with a broken home and bullies at school, lashing out in life, ultimately hurting myself the most, my younger years were not rainbows and prom dresses. Bad choices in dating, health, safety; living life like nothing mattered, but hurting inside, no one would have guessed it. Wanting so bad, to just feel happy and normal, each day, reminding myself, that I have choices. Started to learn from mistakes and relationships, making better choices after the lessons were learned, sometimes being repeated year after year. Then one day, everything felt different. What really mattered was good and brought a smile to my face. Bullies, that never go away, had less of a reaction from me. I could take a full deep breathe that was filled with gratitude and exhaled with love. I had arrived to the place I longed for, since I was a little girl. A place of peace and acceptance, for I had finally accepted myself. I loved myself. I treated myself kind. I spoke to myself nicely and pushed the negative thoughts aside. I was tough from my past, giving me the grit to rise above the hurt. And all I can say is, thank you.
How many times have I had to remind myself, “Take care of yourself!” over the years? In times of stress or when life seems off balance, I find myself, neglecting myself in certain aspects of my life. When I get too focused on work, I struggle with making it to the gym or sleeping soundly through the night. When I am too busy with social events, I find myself exhausted, needing some alone time. Every time, I am reminded how important, self-care is. In order to give the best of ourselves, we must treat ourselves with love and respect. Otherwise, we are not living life at our best. Physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, we can balance ourselves to living our best lives. These things can take on different meaning for everyone, but self care is important. Stress is the cause of sickness and unhappiness. Finding ways to reduce stress and bringing more meaning into life is taking care of yourself. Don’t feel guilty about going to that yoga class or saying no to an event to relax at home with a book. Take care of you!
I like my job. I like the position I have. I like my boss. I like my hours I work. But, there are a few co-workers that I do not care for. I work with some amazing people. People who are positive, driven, work hard and lift each other up. Then, there are a few, that waste time with drama, expect others to do their work for them and are unappreciative. These people are unavoidable, as they are part of a team that must work together to achieve what we are trying to accomplish, but I feel they are toxic. Even though they are good at a few tasks, great actually, which is the only reason they are able to stay, they make the working environment not so enjoyable for everyone else. I find myself getting irritated and becoming a person, I do not like to be. After talking with a girlfriend about the situation, she told me, “you just have to not care about them.” I feel that is easier said than done. Has anyone dealt with the bull dog at work and how do you cope? I would love feedback on this!
As I log into here, absent for weeks, as life can get in the way sometimes, I get excited clicking on the top right button “write”. A blank canvas to share my thoughts, which I privately engage in each morning. But, here is where I share my thoughts with all of you and those thoughts that I share are in hopes that they will spark some sort of fire in your own life. Although social media posts can feel somewhat ego driven, there is a part of me that likes the idea of sharing a good place to eat, in hopes someone else will have the same experience. Or post a picture of a new hike I went on, to have someone else post the same pic with their family the next week. Being social, means were in this thing together, so lets all share! I see enough negativity shared, but how often is the positive moments shared? Is it fear of being ridiculed, or thought of as thinking one is better than another? Why are we scared to share the good moments in our lives, but frequently share what we do not like?
Today, as I was sipping green tea and looking at Pinterest on my lunch break, I came across the picture below of “Mindful Living 101: Components of Mindful Living”. Interesting to come across as your mindlessly scrolling, but it caught my attention. Being constantly tired lately, with having too much anxiety and stress, carried from work, I’ve been desperate to let it all go. The responsibility of adulthood seems to filled with to do list and deadlines. My soul has been yearning for detachment and the word “boundaries” repeats in my head. My goal for 2018 is to live with peace, love and intention.
I’m happy with where I am at in life and that is a great place to be. There have been times when I have not felt that way. Being grateful and appreciating the time now, can only be, because of the harder times before now. I’m sure life will still have it’s hard times, but I’m learning how to not react to everything and just be.
Most of know what we need to do. We have had the experiences, desires, outcomes that bring us to a sense of what we feel is right for us. We come up with a plan, create goals, set a budget… only to find ourselves running on a hamster wheel. The question is, if we know what we need to do, then why aren’t we doing it? Knowing what we need to do, isn’t going to help us reach our goals, only actions can do that. I know for myself, my mood can sway me to do things that counterproductive. Fatigue, hunger or plain boredom can make me forget what I set out to do, just hours prior. Instant gratification replaces the work it takes to actually achieve, what I think I want to do. That is the other question, if I really wanted to do something, then wouldn’t I just do it? Maybe deep down I don’t really want to do it. But, who doesn’t want to be healthy or debt free? I feel most of us do, it is just the work to achieve it, isn’t as fun. Those that actually meet their goals are those that put in the work. Those people make sacrifices now, to have what they really want later.
Sometimes thinking about something too much, can be just as exhausting as actually doing it. Action brings a type of momentum that pushes us to keep going. Little milestones achieved can be motivating! I feel at this point in my life, I know what I need to do, at least with a few areas in my life and it is time to take action! If I want to travel more, pick a place, set a budget, figure out what I need to set aside each paycheck and make it happen. If I want to stick to my budget, I need to look at it each pay period and adjust my budget to what is needed for the next couple of weeks. I think being realistic with your self and your goals is what makes actions doable. We can think anything we want, but if we really want something, action can only make it happen.
Today was a good day. I had the best sleep I have had in months. After feeling like a zombie the day before, I decided I was on a mission to do whatever it takes to get a full nights rest. I turned off my electronics a few hours before bedtime, took a hot bath, read in bed for an hour and whenever feelings of anxiety or overthinking came up, I told myself softly, “stop.” Instead of focusing on on trying to sleep, I focused on relaxing and that seemed to work. It is amazing how a good night’s sleep, can make you feel like a whole new person. I woke up twenty minutes before my alarm went off and instead of grabbing my phone and checking social media, I cuddled with my dog laying next to me. I took a hot shower and played music from the 80s, dancing and singing in the bathroom. I made coffee, took my supplements and put on perfume. Wishing everyday could start like today, I am going to do my best to continue last night’s routine.
Feeling good, just opens my mind to other thoughts during the day, possibilities, ideas and dreams. Rather than just wanting to go home and lay on the couch after work, I am excited to go to the gym. Self care isn’t selfish, but allows you to be your best self, for you and others. Fatigue is a cruel monster that will rob your life of joy and being in the present moment. Goodbye sleepsnatchers, I am done with you.
Does anyone just feel stuck in life. Things aren’t necessarily bad, really they are going quite well, but something just feels not right. I feel like there has been something tugging inside of me for years, trying to figure out what it is I want to do with my life, but I cannot figure it out. When things get hard, I have a urge to want to run away or quit. I get burned out quickly from things I felt, “all in” with just days ago. What gives? Am I chasing the wrong dreams? Have I just not yet found my passion? Life seems so hopeless without passion. It makes me feel tired, lazy and full of anxiety. I want to work hard, but don’t know what can keep my attention.
I wish I knew what I wanted to be “when I grew up”. I feel now I am here and still searching.